Have you ever wondered why you feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your own life? Or why you can’t seem to shake that feeling that something’s just off? You’re not alone in this wondering, and what you’re experiencing might have more to do with your past experiences than you realise.
When most of us hear “PTSD,” we think of war veterans or people who’ve survived car accidents or other dramatic events. And yes, those experiences absolutely can cause PTSD. But here’s what I wish more women knew. Symptoms of PTSD can develop after any experience that left you feeling completely overwhelmed, powerless, or unsafe.
Sometimes it’s the experiences that don’t seem big enough that catch us off guard. But let’s take a moment to put that into real life! Trauma isn’t measured by how dramatic an event looks from the outside. It’s measured by how it affected you on the inside.
When PTSD Doesn’t Look Like What You’d Expect
For so many women, especially those of us who’ve been in challenging relationships, PTSD shows up in ways that are easy to dismiss or misunderstand. Even we dismiss them ourselves.
Sure, there are the signs we might recognise:
- Flashbacks or memories that won’t leave you alone
- Nightmares that wake you from your sleep
- Anxiety that feels overwhelming
- Avoiding certain places, people, or situations
- Feeling like you’re constantly watching for the next bad thing to happen
But then there are the signs that don’t fit the textbook picture.
Maybe you recognise yourself here:
- Feeling you are disconnected and numb and outside of your body
- You find yourself people-pleasing to an almost painful degree because conflict feels terrifying
- You’ve become a perfectionist because it feels like the only way to stay safe
- You constantly question yourself, wondering if you’re going crazy
- Your body hurts in ways doctors can’t quite explain! The headaches, stomach problems, that constant ache
- You feel like you’re your asking for too much or your expectations are too high
- You struggle with boundaries because you’re not sure what you need (or if you’re allowed to need anything)
- You feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions and reactions
Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, please keep reading.
When Love Becomes Trauma
You might be surprised to know that you don’t need to experience physical violence to feel the impact of a traumatic relationship. The emotional and psychological stuff? It can be just as damaging to your nervous system.
Maybe this sounds like your experience:
- Someone made you question your own reality so often that you stopped trusting yourself
- You learned to walk on eggshells around someone’s moods
- Your needs were consistently dismissed or made to seem unreasonable
- Someone elses behaviours or reactions became your responsibilty
- There were threats, maybe not said outright, but implied that you would be abandoned or rejected
- Your version of events was constantly questioned or invalidated
If you’re reading this thinking and your thoughts are jumping from it wasn’t that bad to other people, have it worse or I should be grateful, please take a moment to pause. These thoughts are so common among women who’ve experienced relational trauma, but they can really keep you stuck.
You’re Already So Brave
The fact that you’re here, reading this, questioning your experiences, that takes incredible courage. So many women spend years wondering if they’re “overreacting or being too sensitive. But what if I told you that your body and mind are trying to tell you something important? What if these feelings you can’t shake are your inner wisdom trying to get your attention?
You deserve to understand what you’ve been through, and you deserve to make sense of why you feel the way you do. And most importantly, you deserve to know that whatever you’re experiencing – it’s valid!!!
In Part 2, we’ll explore how trauma lives in your body, why it’s particularly challenging for women to recognise, and most importantly, how healing is absolutely possible.
For now, just know this, you are not broken, you are not crazy, and you are definitely not alone.
If you found yourself nodding along as you read this, you might be interested in our gentle mini retreat “Is It Me?” designed specifically for women who are just beginning to understand their experiences. It’s a soft, supportive space to start reconnecting with yourself without pressure or judgment.
